dance with me tonight

2010-04-18T20:40:00.001-07:00

I am so sick of everything, I need some time for myself. Time to stop pleasing everybody.

2010-04-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's so difficult to understand him and for him to understand me.
All i can do is just give in to him in order not to quarrell with him. Sometimes it can get so tiring..
What to do. I made my choice already.

My boss is a fake. When she gave me 4days extra leave i was so worried. Usually you're suppose to be happy about this kinda thing but to all of us, if this kinda thing happens, it worries us. Funny to think about it.

I finally realized that work is so tiring. When you have nothing to do, you'll complain that time passes slowly and when you loads and loads of work to do, you'll complain that you're too busy or tired. Never satisfied with anything.

Two months of my internship has pass! So fast! Four more months to go!! Hope it'll pass faster! Work tomorrow at 9 as usual. Off to bed now! Toodles world! :)

2010-03-22T09:54:00.000-07:00

I don't understand why J is behaving this way. First he tell me he doesn't want young adult love, meaning getting jealous or being unhappy about your guy or girl friends, but in the end J get upsets that i'm meeting my guy friends which i know for like god damn long. If there's anything that i want to happen it's would have been long ago and i wouldn't have waited till now right.

I know J feels insecure there cos probably he's alone there and i'm here with my friends. But the thing is i've been trying to make him understand that i've really only got him in my heart now and no one else so i don't understand why he's acting this way. He tells me that when i say i meet my friends means i'm meeting guys and he'll get upset over it. Then i told him that meeting friends doesn't mean it's only guys. There are my gfs ard too. Then he'll tell me such things as i can't live my life without meeting other guys. Like WHAT?!?! Ok i admit i definitely have more guy friends than girl friends but it doesn't mean anything what right. Doesn't mean i'll go ard liking any other guy that i meet or know.

Babe, if you're reading this, I REALLY ONLY WISH TO BE WITH YOU AND NO ONE ELSE OK! I've already told you before that i'm damn sick of dating ard and i only want a serious relationship now. I mean what i say ok. If there's anything that you're unhappy about please tell me about it and not keep it to yourself. I really want us to work out.

For now all i can say is let's just see how things go.. Nights for now

My first event!

2010-03-17T01:53:00.000-07:00

I've started my first event overseas at KL already! Reached here on Thurs last week and will be here till Friday. 8 whole days!! And this event has been draining my life ever since it started until now. Everyday i work from 7am to lastest 12plus at night.. Damn tiring! Meetings after meetings, dinner after dinner never ending process everyday.

Now i realized that working in an events company is not as easy as it seems. There's alot of preps to do before the whole event actually starts and the funny thing is, before the event starts there's alot of things to do but when it really commence, there's nothing much to do! This explains why I have the time to blog now. :)

The msd people that attended the event were surprisingly friendly and there were actually quite a few good looking ones as well. Haha! We got to know this msd guy name Elliot Wu and he's a "ABC". Rather cute i must say and very nice too! He's from States and speaks really good english! PJ who's my darling/colleague is totally in love with him! haha! He gave us his personal number because he said he's leaving for SG today and told us that we could meet up for drinks as he'll be staying till next Tues. PJ if you're reading this, it's your chance to get him!!!! LOL!

I MISS HOME!!! Never once thought i'll miss home so much when i'm out of SG.. Usually i'll be enjoying myself till i forget everything but this time it's such a different kind of feeling. Everyday i get only 3-4hrs of sleep and the day goes a long way. Hopefully all this will end soon and i can go back to my tempting comfy bed!! Although all these have been tiring, i still am loving my job! It's actually quite satisfying to see all the end results turn out so well soooo i will definitely still work towards being full time in the company!

Wish me luck! Toodles!!

We miss you ALEX!

2010-02-28T03:56:00.000-08:00

Did this for Alex! Hope you're enjoying yourself in Melb! Try to come back to visit us whenever you can!

2010-02-23T17:27:00.001-08:00

Missing you much! Can't wait for our plans in May!! :)

2010-02-22T23:46:00.000-08:00

My internship started earlier than expected. It was suppose to be starting on the 26th but ended up on the 22nd. Didn't go back to msia for cny this year, totally no mood at all to celebrate but it turned out rather good in the end. :)

The people that i'm working with are very nice and easy going. It's my second day today and i still don't have anything to do. The first day was spent FBing, MSNing and using my PHONE the whole day. I asked them for things to do cos i was really bored but they just told me to go use fb or msn. then when i told them that i have been doing that the whole day, all they did was laugh but still no work to do. One of my colleague even lent me his BB changer cos my batt was dying. What a first day of work man! The good thing is at least it's the ending of the month already and march will be quite busy. I might be able to follow them to KL for an event!! EXCITED although only KL!! hopefully there's more to come and it'll be further the next time round!

I'm feeling so sleepy at work!! My eyes just keep closing and the next thing i know i'm falling asleep in front of the com.......I sooo can't wait to go home and rest! so freaking tired!!

2010-02-07T08:37:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since the last time i blogged. Been busy the past week. Went to Msia for 5days with teddy and had a blast there! His friends were all so friendly! Came back on friday in time for Neverland but it was a disappointment. They didn't even play sorry sorry or ok na ka, two of my fav songs!

I did my nails in Msia too! pretty pretty now! They have 3D flowers on them and the base is pink and glitter pink. just nice for CNY! This week i'll be going back to Msia again for CNY. Yayyy can't wait for all the red packets! WhooHooo! I've been lazy to blog actually. So i'll just stop here although i know it's like out of the blues. Toodles!

2010-01-29T12:46:00.000-08:00

It's gonna be the time of the year again for sweet lovin couples to exchange gifts and sweet romance. This year luckily falls on the same day as CNY if not i would feel shitty. Most of my friends are attached and i've been gettin the i'm so happily in love and all! Just doesn't make me feel better, thanks a lot.

Luckily i won't be in sg to see all these happening so i wouldn't feel so F*** about it. Anyways all these aside.

Ju darlin i have to say this to you. Please don't feel this way about our friendship ok! We really do love you dearly and really do cherish you a lot. Don't feel lost about anything ok cause whenever we get a chance to meet up, we'll definitely update you about everything! :) I promise i'll make an effort to change ok! I'll rem everything that i promised you so don't feel so upset anymore alright! I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! :)

time to tone down

2010-01-25T04:54:00.000-08:00

This week has been a hectic week for me. I guess it's time to tone down and chill. NeverLand on Friday and MJ on Saturday was very tiring! I still feel the tiredness until today although i've stayed home for 2 days already. Pictures of NeverLand are on my FB! I'm lazy to put up pics here.

This weekend i'll be going to malaysia!! Go try out new stuff there!! Whoootsss!! Can't wait! Kk, will update again soon!

i love you sweeties!

2010-01-19T13:00:00.000-08:00

The starting of this week till now have been busy busy busy! Got to know a few good friends and also caught up with a few old friends! I've come to realized that i'm not the only one who has problems and actually many others too. My gfs have been there for me alot and i love you sweeties the most! XOXO!

This week will be a busy week for me and next weekend will be spent dancing on clouds!! Whootsss! Can't wait! I don't call by name but at first it was horse but we came to realise that actually it's more of a giraffe! so giraffe it shall be! So sad to hear but it's the fact.

Come to think about it, guys brains are actually quite puny. Girls don't you agree with me?? Sometimes they tend to think with their dicks which will lead to unhappiness or trouble. Guys should really wake up man. Can't live life like that forever you know! :)

Too tired to think. Off to my wonderful bed now! Nights world!

Rah rah ah ah ah ah!

2010-01-17T04:28:00.000-08:00

Butter on friday with my fav people!! Sorry for the late uploads. I was too excited for NeverLand! ha! Friday was like a catchin up session too! Met quite a few people there and i found out that one of my gfs is my friend's niece! What a small world man... But after that night, i would definitely wanna try that 'make the world go round' thing again! ;) Like i always say, more pics on FB!

My fav teddy in the world! :)

the only thing i keep hearin him say the whole night is "i'm handsome right"

super act!

tham tham!!

my friend's niece and my another friend's sis.. what a small world!

long time no see dal...haha!

another drunk bitch! LOL

NeverLand, our new love

2010-01-17T03:12:00.000-08:00

Pics as of promised!! Saturday night with my gurls, like finally! We all turned into crazy animals last night and partaye!! And the best of all, Ju darlin i'm damn proud of you to stay with us until 6am!!! Xoxo!! :) More pics uploaded on FB!!

We met at Macs first for dinner

Took a bus after years man

NeverLand here we come!

♥

The beer there tasted exceptionally gooddd...

Extra waiter behind...SPOILER!!

Have always love playin dice! especially if you're not the one always losing! Ha!

5 10 next! Gwen's damn good at it man!

HAHAH! Pic of the night! MONSTER FACE!!

Took the whole basket to herself when the nuts came. Selfish bitch! haha

Staircase lovin'

Everyone should know this move.. "nobody nobody but you!"

new place,new love

2010-01-16T15:20:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the best night ever! Finally our gurls night out after soooo long! And guess what! all of us have a new love now! It's somewhere called NEVERLAND! We promised that this would be our weekend routine and we'll go there to "nobody,nobody but you!" :)

We were all at atlantis at first but it wasn't that good cos we got a table quite isolated so we decided to hop to neverland. AND IT ROCKS!!! People who haven't been there should really try it man. You'll love it!

kk i'll stop here for now. Pics will be up soon! Nighty night world! xoxo! :)

everything's starting to be clear

2010-01-13T07:38:00.000-08:00

This is my first day after everything that has happen that i'm stayin home! Feelin emotional the past week made me think about alot of things and finally today, 13 jan 2010, i dont feel so bothered by things anymore. After the many talks and scoldings that i have been hearing the past week, it's finally over.

Actually i guess partially i was that emotional cos i didnt realize that my period was comin. haha! Until today, when it came and the whole day i was feelin fine even though seeing some things on my fb homepage. I hate fb now you know. It's actually quite irritating so i've decided not to log onto fb as often as now. Fb ruin people's life man. Even friendster wasn't that bad.

Wed night and i'm home! surprising right! Nowadays, i've been feelin very tired very easily and i'll sleep quite early too! been a good girl other than my crazy emotions. :) have been writing some stuffs to remind myself not to get into this kinda shithole anymore too. Life goes on and don't forget! Karma always come back for you!

depression

2010-01-10T12:47:00.000-08:00

These two days were HORRIBLE!! First it was me finding out about the dodgy phone call cos of a gurl, then it was the unexpected people and lastly it was the photo. The photo thing was my last straw that made me fall into depression. Everything was so fucked up for me this whole week. Thing after thing happened and wouldn't stop.

I won't talk about the phone call cos if he wants to make things this way then let him be. The unexpected people was all a miscommunication. It happened last night when i was supposed to meet Kusa and Gab. I had smth that i wanted to talk to them about.Was suppose to meet Kusa at thomson SB at first but in the end found out that rq was going so i didn't go. But after that they agreed to meet at S.dam, i waited for them at yishun 925 till they were done with the rest but in the end i found out that rq suddenly was going to S.dam too. I was like wtf! How can they call rq when they agreed to meet me there?! So i was soo freakin pissed that i didn't know what to do. I called gab and he never called back.

In the end i went to find Eve, ShiHui and Alex at Ryan's house and i told them what happened. They told me to call gab and ask what happened but i didn't cos i was too pissed. We drank at his place and i fell asleep till the early mornin then we all went home. When i got home, it's my usual routine to log onto FB to to check my stuff and that's when i saw the photo. It was totally the last straw of my breakdown. I couldn't take it and i broke down going into a depression.

Since that photo i couldn't sleep and i kept cryin. The whole day i didn't want to talk to anyone and i switched off my phone. I couldn't eat or drink and just lied on my bed and cry and sleep. My mum came and talk to me but i didn't have to mood to talk to her. My friends called but i didn't answer too. It was all too fucked up for me to take.

Eve came my house to find me and I screamed at her tellin her to go away and leave me alone. It was my first time screamin at her after our last quarrel and she didn't yell back. She consoled me for quite some time before i sobered up. Then i started to open to her tellin her what happened and why i'm feelin this way. I felt like no one cared and everyone was laughin at me which i realized it wasn't true. After talkin for awhile, she brought me to eat smth. Bestie and Zhen came down to find me too. They appeared at the coffeeshop and asked me what happened to me and was i ok. They were very worried cos everyone knows i don't off my phone which i did for the first time. They all spoke to me tellin me it wasn't worth it and all to be like that. Like he could have fun and didn't care, why should i be torturing myself like that.

Then Carmen called Eve saying that Kusa and Gab also wants to meet up. Carmen was suppose to come with Eve but she had something on with her family that's why Eve came down first. Bestie and Zhen left after talkin to me. Then we went down to S.dam to find Carmen, Kusa and Gab cos they wanted to meet there. When we reached there, Gab started to explain to me about the whole situation about last night. As we talked, we realized it was a miscommunication and everything happened very unepectedly. We cleared things out and now we're all fine. They also spoked to me about the photo thing and me being this way. After everything, i felt bad and apologized to everyone and also thankin them for being there for me. They all told me not to fall into depression again no matter what happens and have to learn to look on the brighter side of life.

After the whole night of talkin and consoling, I realized that actually there are a lot of people who cares for me and it's totally not worth it for me to be like this over a fucked up guy. Although i'm still a little depressed about the whole situation, i guess i'll slowly be fine soon.

Thanks and sorry:

*EVE who came down all the way from thomson to find me takin train and all! I know you always take a lot of nonsense from me and i know you always say you won't care if i repeat it to you but ultimately you do really care and will still talk to me. I REALLY APPRECIATE WHATEVER THINGS YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME AND I LOVE YOU!
*BESTIE and ZHEN who came down to find me all the way from vivo cos they were worried. LOVE YOU BOTH!
*CARMEN, though i just only gotten close to you but you wanted to come down with eve to find me and you always hear my complaints without gettin frustrated. YOU'RE THE BEST SIAO ZHA BOR EVER! LOVE YOU!
*GAB, i know sometimes you can be angry or frustrated with me but you never show it and will still talk to me nicely and give me good advices. Though i haven't been talkin to you for a period of time but once you find out that i was in trouble, you still came down to find me and I'M REALLY GRATEFUL TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE YOU!! LOVE YOU TOO! (carmen, don't be angry ok! this one is friendship love. HEH!)
*KUSA, though i knew you through rq but you don't treat me like i'm just your friend's ex gf. When i had problems, you'll still come and console me (although mostly is scold me la). BUT THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU! (leave out your lupsup la) haha!
*Last but not least, everyone else who cares about me especially MY MUM! I should haven't made her worry like that. And i promise all of you, i'll try not to make this happen again.

Mambo jumbo!

2010-01-06T14:54:00.000-08:00

Mambo was a blast today!! First mambo of the year i think that's why the dj spinned his best! Today's crowd wasn't as bad as xmas and nye. But surprisingly there were alot of ang mohs today! There was one who even asked brenbren and alex to teach him mambo! hahaha! damn funny man!

Someone has a new resolution!! Don't want asian anymore, wanna try white meat now! HAHAHA! i wonder who man. We have been tryin to spot for cute ang mohs the whole night! Finally went to meng's for supper just now like after so long! But so sad xiao wang zi quit already! No one to remember my orders which is quite complicated. Heh!

kk i got to go bathe now! It's gonna rain damn heavily and the weather outside looks scary and cold. wish i had someone to hug to sleep! toodles!

2010-01-05T20:21:00.000-08:00

Sorry shawnie!!! didn't meet you in the end cos i'm scared that i don't have internet connection at sb then i can't do my assignment! PROMISE I'LL GO COFFEE WITH YOU ANOTHER TIME!

24hrs without sleep

2010-01-05T11:28:00.000-08:00

Finally i can relax!!! 7assignments in 2 days is a killer man! But i manage to pull through! :) Think i went crazy today. Didn't sleep for 24hrs but after submitting my assignments, i went to town with bestie and zhen. Chilled with them at Forum sb then teddy came and picked me up to go Liat sb to meet earl and amanda. Two sb in a day! haven't done this in a long time man.

After that we went to meet tham, rachel and hanni at blue jazz in haji lane. Chilled there again! Actually i'll rather do that then walk around. No energy! Was suppose to meet amos and des but changed of plans cos des gotta wake up at 6am! postponed the date to later! haji lane wasn't our last stop cos i was craving for BEEF CHILLI CHEESE FRIES!!!!! Ultimate shiokness!! So we decided to go east coast drive thru carls junior, take away the fries and went down pasir ris to chill at this cafe. (forgot the name. it was summer smth i think).

Waited for tham's bf to come down and chatted awhile before we decided to call it a night! On the way home, des called to check whether i was home. sweets of him. :)

See am i crazy or what..never sleep still can do so many things. but super talk alot to keep myself awake. everyone said i was crazy! kk enough for today. gotta sleep. tmr gotta wake up early to meet stupid shawnie in town.

GOODNIGHT WORLD!!!! xoxo :)

I can't do it

2010-01-04T17:03:00.000-08:00

These 4 days are like totally torturous.. break up+assignments totally don't go well together. I keep telling myself that i have to stop thinking of him but my mind doesn't seem to want to listen. Whenever i'm not doing anything, it just starts thinking and wondering again. Why does this have to happen to me? Why is he like that? Why did i agreed to start all these with him? Time and time again i'll tell myself not to think. If i have the chance to go out i would but sadly I DO NOT! Don't even have enough time to sleep or eat. Lost like 2kg within this few days. Lost my appetite, no concentration to do my assignment. Hiaa... life sucks man!

I feel like leaving the country and go somewhere and never come back. Why do i have to go through this kinda problems. Spoke to him but he seems really ok although he told me that he's not. Maybe cos he's the one that wants the break up that's why he doesn't feel so bad.

I wish i can smoke my life away.....

I need sleepppp!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-03T15:30:00.000-08:00

OMG!! Guess what. I've been doing my assignment since last night till now. Meaning i haven't sleep yet!!! Fuck my school and my life man. This is the busiest week of my life! I've got to hand in assignments every alternate day. See what i mean. Hia....

Ok enough. Back to work. Siannnn

loved and lost

2010-01-03T03:09:00.000-08:00

Two break ups in a year is too much for me to take. The second one with rq was too sudden and i couldn't react to it. Although it was only a mere 3 months, it was still painful. I started to put in effort into the r/s then he broke up with me. It was like so sudden and when everyone found out about it they were shocked too.

I really appreciate everyone's concern for me and my friends were really very sweet. Once they heard the news they came down to find me and talk to me. Thank God i have such wonderful friends if not i dunno what i'll be today.

After two days of being upset, emotional and talkin to E, I've decided to stop feeling miserable and move on with my life. No point getting so upset also since it's only 3 months but nontheless, the feelings still grew after awhile. Oh wells, it's the new year so maybe it's better to start afresh! Don't brood about the sad things anymore. Move on with my life and make it better!! Like what E said, I'm not alone and i've got many friends who are actually really concern for me.

After this post, I will not talk about him anymore and just put him behind my mind. :)

2009-12-29T22:19:00.001-08:00

Going to sch now!! tiredddd!! hate to wake up early for sch! and it looks like it's gonna rain!!

The start of my new blog

2009-12-29T11:46:00.000-08:00

I've decided to start blogging again! Since i have the free time and i keep forgetting things, i shall start blogging and my friends can know about my life too! This whole year has been a bad one for me. Breaking up, quarrels, mad emotions...
Luckily 2010 is coming!! Can't wait for the new year to begin! hopefully it'll be a good one since i'm gonna start my internship and i'll be earning money! yippeeee!! :)
Ok i'll end off here first! gotta do my assignments now! soooo many soooo little time!!
Toodles peeps!!